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Dvr H.Adler
PAL/30765
650, G.T.Coy R.A.S.C
“B”Platoon
C.M.F

6 November.

My sweet darling,

I haven’t written for several days.  It’s because I was feeling more sick than well. Now things are going better. Only my head is still a bit heavy. I believe it was general fatigue, built up during the long weeks of work without rest, which had – momentarily- raison de moi.  But above all, darling, don’t make anything of it. It is, as I say, passing. Today, I am already almost as before this little lapse.

I have had several letters from you, as well as a paper. Thanks. For the two. Decidedly, I must get used to the fact of irregular letters. But no matter what order your letters arrive, chronologically or all mixed up, they are always so precious for me, so dear, so loved to impatiently waited for and, as ever, like the first, like the one that came yesterday, they make my heart beat, my hands tremble, my throat tighten and they fill me with a sweet terrible longing for you, my Yvette, my little one so much loved. 

It is so difficult, darling, to tell you how much I desire you and how much I miss you,I realise that I tell you the same thing every time. That your receive the same song from me. Always my love for you, my immense need for you. “But now, I love only the little one, the beautiful one, mine…” And you are no doubt waiting for my poetic descriptions of the things of what my eyes are seeing, for the thoughts a little more profound that inhabit my brain, for the feelings which fill my heart as a result of war, misery, hunger….

But darling, you are what my eyes see, you are my most profound thoughts, you are in my heart. Like no one and nothing else. No. I am not a strong man. I am just a little man who so tenderly loves his wife that this love overwhelms everything else. There is not one reflection I make independent of you, of your existence. There is not one look that is free of your existence. That is why my letters begin and finish always with the same song— oh tell me darling, tell me quickly that this does not annoy you. You see, I am truly in my letters. So truly – Isn’t he right, a thousand times more right than me, Johnny (Eng) who draws a heart, surrounds it with a thousand crosses and sends it to his love!  There it is.

Here everything is the same. Yes, the earth is still black and green, the sky covered with great clouds, the sea blue, the houses in ruins, the faces pale, sick, hungry, feet bare, kids unforgettable and charming. And the war goes on. And with all these complications,   all these miseries. And suffering takes root everywhere, masters everything and causes ravages that centuries will not cure.  Sexual debauchery dances a happy dance around me. It’s so easy. The men are not there. Either dead for the glory of Rome or prisoner in the sand or in the cold steppes. And there is hunger, cruel, demanding. And the kids, my God, so many of them! Do you know the song: “I am called Mary, sleep here”… Oh yes, it is easy.  The gentlemen have only to choose. In the villages  ca passe encore . But in the town, oh darling, it is so cruel, so sad.  Downfall of everyone and everything. The cynicism of sex is the order of the day.  Nothing scoffs more at human dignity than this cruel but necessary war.

Darling, it must, it must certainly be the last. And though one can treat me a thousand times as naive, I want to believe it. I believe it strongly, deeply and I attach myself to that faith with all my strength and I will devote all my strength to the service of saving humanity.  There is so much to do! You well know that there is only one way. One only. And everything depends on us.

Little one, I have accumulated within me such an immense amount of hatred for those who are to blame and such an infinite amount of love for humanity. But I would never be able to express it in words.  So I will express it in deeds.  Yvette darling, excuse me for not speaking to you of all that. It surpasses my power.

I want only to tell you that I walk through all this obscenity with a pure body, pure heart and pure thoughts, all permeated with our lovely love.

Do you remember when I spoke to you of my body that goes to sleep when I am far from you? Do you remember? Oh Yvette, I owe you so much! It is so good to have you pour moi. Darling, darling, it is so good to wait for you, only you, with peace, with the peoples’ revenge and then…. You again, you. It is good; it is easy it is beautiful. You are essential. You are the only one.

It is two months that we left each other. It feels like years. The days are long without you. They will be so short with you. But if you were not there – what would notions of time matter? That would truly be a break down.

But you are there. That is why I am alive. And you don’t know to what point that is the truth, darling, what I say.  My good little darling Yvette –

Your

Henri

I have still not received your parcel. But have you received mine? Thanks for your good wishes for my birthday. (How old I am darling! This wear must finish!)  I am very pleased, I am very happy that you like Manka. Have you received my letter in which I speak of Helene?  Tell me, will I like her as Manka likes you?

Henri