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Dvr H.Adler
PAL/30775
650, G.T.Coy R.A.S.C
“B”Platoon  

July 1943

Eight days ago I sent you a letter. It’s a long interval. Too long.  I realise it very well, darling. But this past week was for me rather full of incident.

Quite suddenly, beloved Yvette, I have been ill. Three days.  Can you imagine that in this great heat I caught a cold. And I want you to believe that it took a strong hold on me. Coughing, fever, well I never! I felt very poorly. I was “excused duty” and did nothing but think and dream of you.  Through the fever. I dint know a force ion the world stronger than my love for you, than our love.

It was during one of those days that I received the letter with the good news about Manka. I am profoundly happy to hear it.  I see very clearly that you will love each other like very good sisters, very good comrades.  You understand that I had a fever, so I pictured our arrival in Australia- yes, with our little Ouri – the joy, the beauty!  Then I read, I read each word of your lovely letters and your words, your thoughts, your love did me so much good, so much good, as always. At the end of the third day I was still sick, when I learnt that a group of my companions from Spain, from the International Brigades, were in these parts, en route for the Soviet Union. I went there straight away – not to the Soviet Union, in these parts- to see them. I saw them, Yvette my dear little Yvette, so very well loved!

I saw these men, my comrades in arms that I had not seen for four years. The immediately recognised me and there I was surrounded, embraced, caressed. We laughed and tears flowed, the heavy tears of men who have endured four years of the most miserable lives in African concentration camps. Darling, why try to explain what you know and feel so well, without any literature. You see what I mean?

And then, during our coming holidays, I will tell you about these men, whose hairs has become grey, whose eyes are pale, teeth black, hands trembling, backs bent, whose hearts have remained pure, strong and full of faith. There were some who were in my unit, under my command from the first until the last day of the war. It was with those that the reunion was the most touching.

In the night I went for a walk. The blackness of the night weighed as heavily as my heart’s sadness. For a film passed before my eyes. A mixture of things seen and things imagined. The war, that truly horrible heroic war, the spirit and the camaraderie of the International Brigades, of those men, the invalided and those who are no longer with us, the concentration camps, the hunger, sickness, the present and the future. I walked into the black emptiness. I felt the hardness of the asphalt underfoot, without seeing it.  Since all around inside and me was black. I looked up at the sky. Nothing. Not a star- even ours. Then I felt you. Darling, darling, darling. Yvette my love of! How you are dear to me!

You walked by my side. You didn’t speak. K didn’t hear your footsteps, so attentively, thoughtfully you walked, respecting my immense emotion. But I saw your look. That of the barbed wire. And I felt that you have never left me. You were with me when I spoke with them. You shared my joy and my thoughts. And they, they straight away loved you as they love me. I understood that I am never more alone. Never.. And I plunged myself into your look, that of the barbed wire, and all the love, all that immense love which is always in side me for you covered me entirely and there was no more blackness. I murmured your name on this walk. I murmured “Yvette”. Then you took my arm, you touched with your cheek the palm of my hand and you said:” Little one, my little one-“

What richness, what sweetness, what happiness there is to be loved by you! Yvette, Yvette.

I saw them for two days. They all left. And I am calm, peaceful. And I await you. I await you, darling, with joy and with sadness. I await you with all my love that I keep for you and that I offer you. And all those who I love know that I love them through my best beloved.

Next month Darling, we will see each other again. Our lips will touch. Our bodies will unite as before, as after, as our hearts are united. I count the days, darling. I count the nights. I want you so very, very much! And I want you to read in my eyes what my mouth will tell you: I have made peace with myself. And this peace, you will feel that it only exists near you, with you.”

Darling, my little adored darling! I love you with all the strength that a heart can love. Oh quickly, very quickly, may we find ourselves in each other’s arms!

Henri

Manka’s address:

Mrs M.Gust
364 Barkly Str
Elwood S3
Melbourne
Australia

I have not seen Phoenix. I was no longer there, or I was writing my last letter. But I very often go to the Café Lilliput.