Dvr H.Adler
PAL/30775
650, G.T.Coy R.A.S.C
“B”Platoon
3 April 1943
Three days have gone by, my dear Yvette, since I left. I can’t always manage to find certain equilibrium, to become myself again. I understand, once and for all, that I will no longer ever be able to be myself, as long as we are separated. […] I’m still not working. And although I explained in my last letter that my work will not be able to influence this immense listlessness, this queer, deep sadness which holds me so strongly and entirely in its grip- I believe that work would comfort me a little. I mean to say that working would make me concentrate my spirit and my body on something […]
You understand: to load, unload, take care not to run over anyone or be run over, clean a wheel, tighten a screw, argue with a colleague, all that, you know, demands a certain effort, a certain concentration of spirit and while it doesn’t kill listlessness, doesn’t kill sadness, but drives them back for a very little time. […] But above all, don’t believe that I am unhappy. Oh no! I am – how to express it- I could not be happier. Happy to have found you, to love you and to be loved by you. Happy to have found “ my little one, my sweet, my own”, to have found my wife, my comrade and my companion- to have found my world, mine […] If I knew how to write, I would have written the most beautiful poem that humanity every knew. But I don’t know how to write. Nor do I have the energy. If I were a musician, I would have created the most beautiful symphony. Without brass. You know an uninterrupted flow of tears from the violin, sweet, peaceful…. And those who have a living heart in their breast would throw themselves on their knees.
But I am not a musician.
And my heart continues to overflow. It beats at my chest […]
P.S. Today I received the Marriage Certificate. I signed a pile of papers that deal with this story. I tell you this because perhaps it will interest you, I don’t know why.
I embrace you, darling, tenderly
H
(Signed by censor)
tom rigby - melbourne 