Dvr H Adler
PAL/30765
650,G.T.Coy
RASC
MEF

2 December 1942

My dear little adored Yvette,

Today I am so joyous, so content, and so full of liveliness. Strong. Healthy and brave that I long to shout “Hip, hip, hurrah! (Eng)” To cry it to you, my marvellous love, to you my good, my beautiful dear little Yvette. Yvette, Yvette, Yvette – I want to fill the whole page with your name.  Yvette, little one, well beloved, most beloved. Yvette. Oh darling! To hold you so hard in my arms, to cover you all over with ardent and tender and gentle kisses. To murmur little words of love, you know those simple words, which are so beautiful when they are whispered sweetly with your cheek close to that of your dearly beloved. My love! My all! Little one! Oh how strong I ffeel when I see you, “little one” and when I feel that word, the sweet reality, in my entire body. To play with you, darling, as my eyes play with yours. My big ugly nose with your dear little nose, a little big, a tiny bit turned up, this little nose that I love as I love all of you, like your freckles. To make you sulky, to squabble, then to make you smile, then to make you burst into joyous laughter, to lead you, arms entwined around my neck and listen to your sweet lips say, or rather murmur: “Silly fool”, “my dearest silly fool”. Oh Yvette, Yvette! I love you, I love you, and even as I write these words living warmth caresses my body and thrills my soul.

I had a good day today.

I will be so close to your camp that it is very likely I will be able to come and visit you. “To visit you” – to see you, to speak to you, to embrace you, to kiss you- Yvette, do you know, do you feel what that is? Can you ever imagine that nothing but the prospect of being able to in a few days to be within striking distance of a “tramp” which must carry me towards my Yvette, that prospect alone is enough for my temples to quicken, for my heart to want to burst with joy and love, for me to lose my head and shout at the top of my voice: “hip, hip, hoorah!” Darling Yvette, do you feel that? Do you feel my heart which never stops talking to you, my heart which becomes so very large when my lips murmur only that magical name; “Yvette”!

2nd. So what does is all this mean? It means that at last I am getting close to the front, and you know what that signifies for me. To become a man again. To have no longer shame. To fight. For you, for myself, for both of us. For those who they are slaughtering and those they want to slaughter. For the Jews and the Poles. For France and for Dniepostroi. For liberty. For socialism. For humanity.  Oh darling, I feel as though you understand me perfectly! Thank you. I will stand erect again on my two legs. And those who are frightened of me, those who struggle with low methods, eh bien, they have reason to be frightened. Everything that has happened has not broken me. I am not exhausted. On the contrary I, the old battler, am stronger than ever.  They don’t know that I have you, darling, Yes, my sweet one, my strength that they feel, the Cohens, I derive at two arms from you, my beautiful dear child, my adored wife. My conscience will not be extinguished as long as you are there to help me in my moments of weakness. How I love you darling how I love you!

Tell me you know it, at least? Little one!

And at last, here is still another reason that explains my depression today. [Tr. note (Amirah): “check this. It doesn’t make sense”]

3^rd. I have been to see the little one. Listen darling, four hours ago I left the room where little Ouri – moist baby lipped- slept like a little man in a little bed. But it seems only a minute since I left that room. The trouble is that I can write you nothing on the subject because all that fits with that crowd of sensations, emotions and thoughts that filled me from all sides during my visit I could not tell you unless you were here in front of me, living and loving. All that I can write to you now is that I love Ouri deeply – and chut! That today for the first time I felt myself a father. Will that be enough for now, darling? Truly I can’t describe in cold words, those sincerely living feelings.

I had along conversation with Mme Gorochov. That seems to me the only part of the day that was unsuccessful. I believe in fact that Mme G has not been able to make up her mind to have a very good opinion of my appearance. Nevertheless, we were both polite and we parted both smiling.

All that, darling, in one day. And also yesterday I sent you a long rather nervous and pessimistic letter. That letter and this one will no doubt cause you to dream of things less encouraging for me. This difference of humour doesn’t it mean a broken down spirit or an unreliable kid? God, I tremble for you, which means for me. But, darling, there is something, at least, which is and will be forever constant in me: my love for you, Yvette. So don’t be too hard on me; I love you oh darling, I love you terribly

Your Henri.