Dvr H.Adler
No 30765
173 Hen.Tnpt Coy
R.A.S.C(P)
M.E.F.

Aout 1942

My very dear Yvette,

Decidedly I am very discontented with myself. It is because of my second letter which must be already in your possession.  I do feel that both the subject matter and style, my stupid mania for insisting with my constant “I love you like this and I love you like that” can only  raise a sure repulsion, which will make you want to send me to the devil. I  regret that profoundly.  Or, te perdre – en voila un ‘coup’ pour moi!

That also can appear illogical and pretentious of me.  For, logically on can’t lose what one has. But as illogical as that appears, it is no less true, that I am afraid, horribly afraid that I could lose that little affection which, perhaps, you have for me. In any case,  if my head appears strong in logic, my soul s’enfiche royalement with logic.  And it is much stronger than I am. I well understand that I must stop all my continuous sighing and become more reserved, however when I start to write to you a crowd of tender expressions of love assail me and demand to be put down on the paper.

What ‘s to be done, oh Yvette. What’s to be done?  Lie?  Play the indifferent?  Ape those men – “ I know all about women, oh la la!?

Or rather continue to say everything I am thinking and feeling? But in that case I use words both burning and cool to express the burning passion and the perfect calm which struggle for the mastery of my heart?  And then, it is always the same thing: you will feel badly about it. For one is always in a painful situation  to find yourself confronted with someone who overwhelms  you with his tenderness and whose deep feelings do not correspond with yours.

The best thing still is to  make myself do it. I will no longer speak in my letters about what is most dear to me – about you. In any case, I will do my best!  I will try to make literature (badly!). I will talk to you about the people around me. I will describe the conditions of my life.  I will try to interest you in all the problems that preoccupy me: war, peace, Revolution- France, our France that we will find again, that we must find again to save human dignity – the fate of humanity torn apart by continual war. The sublime spirit of sacrifice of the Soviet people, which provokes blushes of shame in me, red blushes that equal those of the Don that they colour with their blood –

I will talk to you of the misery of the peoples and of the enormous task before people of good will.

But through all these things will sound notes of sadness, here and there, to recall to you, from time to time, the silent love that I offer you always.,

Yours truly, Henri

 

{on the back of the last page. In awkward handwriting.

Did you receive my letter? I greet you and wish you success. I shake your hand.

Your Dov