Marcoussis 28 September

It is Sunday, darling, and I arrived yesterday at Marcoussis to spend with weekend at Jacqueline’s place. When I left Paris it was grey and foggy and during the night, the clouds lifted. This morning the birds woke me with their twittering… There was fog between the trees of the park and a gentle blue sky. France knows how to be so beautiful, you know! And I think of you all the time. I try to tell myself: work has its rights over you, that is why you are so far away. But no reason is reason for my heart.[I need you, want you etc] I am waiting impatiently for the telegram which says “I am coming” and then it will be your turn to get the train and my turn to wait for you on the train platform. And I don’t yet know if I will have a house key in my pocket. If I do, so much the better! [….]

The baby is fine. I have a matronly chest which makes my clothes burst. I laugh when I remember your fears about your capacity for fatherhood.  How absurd darling! And do you laugh too?  I want so much to embrace you, gosh, the end of your nose and then to move down gently towards your mouth, towards your neck while caressing your lips.  I love you darling; I love every part of you, your soul ad your body and your heart and your fears; your gentle chest and your large nose and even your modesty and your pride of loving and your scruples and your voice […] I like all of you everything about me pleases me, seduces me.  It’s madness to love to that extent and with such tenderness and joy! And I want to caress you, to spoil you so you will be happy and peaceful and proud to be a man.  Mine. But you are all that, aren’t you darling? […] I have been thinking again about the name of the baby; if it’s a boy, Antoine, really pleases me. But I too would like a girl. Helene has written my some good letters; she is very happy at our union and about the coming baby. Grandma said to me,’ I’ve just written to your Henri to tell him how confident I am to see him join his life to yours. He has truly given proof of an admirable constancy and heroic goodness; a true chevalier of the Grail.”  What a woman!  As for Helene, she has already promised me her thunderbolts in case I am not a good wife. As you can see you will arrive with the arms of the Fafa open tenderly to you. But I suppose you know that already after the letters from Belmont. Are you pleased? Helene will live with Jacqueline. As to Grandma, if our apartment is big enough and if you are agreeable, she would be pleased to live with us. We will talk about it again anyhow when you arrive. She talks of herself as an “ ancient encumbrance”, but in truth she is not.

As for me, my love, I am waiting for you. It is the depth of my thoughts and my dreams. It is the sweetness that inhabits my heart; it’s also impatience.

See you soon, my well beloved, and my sweet. I embrace you tenderly, while waiting.

Your wife.