Yvette to Henri.

29 June

My darling,

Today is Sunday. A beautiful sunny Sunday which I should be spending with you in the countryside. But you are not here and from Vienna you cant go to the countryside. [….] My desire to see you dominates everything. It is a strong and powerful desire that never leaves me alone. And I can feel yours too, vibrating also in that destroyed city. I walked along the flat ugly bank of the Danube. You see the Vistula I expect. It is no longer so different and I rejoice in that.[…] Henri, I wait for you and you would understand that. For you always understand me. You remember those interminable waiting years that have passed? They were all full of misery, pregnant with joy.[…] It’s a long time, five years. More than five years now. And if I had you in front of me, very close, I would be able to make sure that you are happy. I am so certain that you will be happy with me and that I will be also. For there will no longer be anything but love and life. I can already picture our reunion. I am waiting for your train and then I see you at the door. You will be in civvies, but that wont stop me seeing you. Do you know, darling, I have only seen you in civvies once. That was five and a half years ago. I see you again a little in front of me talking to the comrades. You wore grey trousers and carried a leather brief case in your hand. So you will be on the step of the train and you will step down and I will run towards you. You will say nothing, we will both be silent, but perhaps you will allow me to embrace you in public. I will see that in your eyes and in the pressure eof your hands. And quickly we will leave together for a tranquil spot where we will be alone. And I will embrace you long and tenderly. I see you face with its happy smile. The smile of Maadi, the morning on the little terrace where we breakfasted. Darling, I want so much to see you happy. To make you happy. […] I would like to call to you across the mountains and rivers that separate us. I want you to have confidence in my love, a greater confidence than ever before; calm and serious without nostalgia, without fears. I would like you to think of our reunion as something close, certain, and cloudless.

I want to hold you against my heart, all within me. Do you feel, darling, how much I need you. Tell me, my friend, do you feel it?

There was the war and its battles; peace and its mourning. There were thousands of kilometres and eternities of separation between us. There has been desolation of your heart and torments, then my appeals. And our love lives, stronger and younger than ever. Do you feel it darling?  Do you want to give your heart again? Do you want to give me your life and your soul as I offer you mine with joy?

I am waiting for your letter, like childbirth.

I embrace you Henri, so tenderly, so strongly.

Your Yvette